A Single Mom's Pain
I have been thinking of somethings said and unsaid. First it blows my mind that you have the nerve to say how dependent and self sufficient I need to be when you have no "concept" of the word, and what I mean by that is from what I know about you you have always been taking care and picked up which has enabled you to half step in everything you do you have always been with a woman who feels that she has to keep you she has to take care of you which leads to a dead end parasitic relationship and when both people feel they are sucked dry that resentment kicks in. Being the held of a household consists of more than your presence and throwing around a few demands. Secondly for you to feel that your presence is less needed in my child's life infuriates me for a number a reasons. Last night I cried like a baby and as crazy as it sounds I said to myself "Daddy where are you I need you to help me understand somethings" . I feel so alone you have no Idea. I have no one to talk to. Everyone around me says the same thing, your so strong which makes me feel that no one should see me weak. I have so much built anger, emptiness and emotions that I don't know what to do. I can't go to mom because of fear that I would be looked at as some stupid weak little girl that she did not "raise like that". I can't go to [name redacted to protect the innocent] because she has always "had it" so she could not even comprehend my "mess" and [name redacted to protect the innocent] has always been able to look to me for strength and a shoulder that she would not even know how to respond. I'm so sick of wearing this face of "togetherness" 24/7 . Yes I want to be allowed to be weak sometime, emotional, confused, an uncertain and not be frowned upon. A lot of this has a lot to do with not having a Father around and having to take on roles I was not yet ready for so, I am saying please do not downplay your role in our Daughter's life. I will eventually get over the fact that that's where you chose to spend your life but don't rush me. I know my time will come when i will meet a man who will love me whole heartily, unconditionally with no strings attached and for that I must be patient.
-sister
