Life As An Oxymoron (Revised 2009)

We have a
Love, hate,
disconnected relationship,
with eachother's selves.
A cause resulting in
a singular duality,
that vigorously stagnates
our seemingly extinct existence.

Probably because
the practicing preachers
have dead lives.
While, religious politicians
tell believable lies.
Raising our lowered,
expectant agnosticism.

We learn to act natural
when we're alone together.
Clearly misunderstood
because our minds constantly change.

We give to what takes
and vise versa.
Always never saying;
wouldn't it be nice,
to be nothing?
To go nowhere...

But alas,
we are the pushed driven,
children parents,
of a once found, lost generation.
Caught and released
into an anarchic civilization.

Which ends up, leading to,
our paranoid rejection of rational assimilation
and/or
a logically absurd
form of vicarious existentialism.
A fantastic reality.....
maybe, maybe not?

But a society of individuals,
seems mutually exclusive.
But because of our false hope
in our legal freedoms,
our eyes are wide shut
to this minor crisis.
And although it's old news,
its still pretty ugly.

We are politically-correct,
Pro-life, woman's rights and
death penalty-supporting,
God-fearing, capitalistic,
SUV-driving, environmentalists.
Wanting to go to heaven, but trying to live forever.
This cognitive dissonance knows no demographic.
From listeners of Biggie Smalls
to Fatboy Slim.
But this is just my unbiased opinion.

A Single Mom's Pain

I have been thinking of somethings said and unsaid. First it blows my mind that you have the nerve to say how dependent and self sufficient I need to be when you have no "concept" of the word, and what I mean by that is from what I know about you you have always been taking care and picked up which has enabled you to half step in everything you do you have always been with a woman who feels that she has to keep you she has to take care of you which leads to a dead end parasitic relationship and when both people feel they are sucked dry that resentment kicks in. Being the held of a household consists of more than your presence and throwing around a few demands. Secondly for you to feel that your presence is less needed in my child's life infuriates me for a number a reasons. Last night I cried like a baby and as crazy as it sounds I said to myself "Daddy where are you I need you to help me understand somethings" . I feel so alone you have no Idea. I have no one to talk to. Everyone around me says the same thing, your so strong which makes me feel that no one should see me weak. I have so much built anger, emptiness and emotions that I don't know what to do. I can't go to mom because of fear that I would be looked at as some stupid weak little girl that she did not "raise like that". I can't go to [name redacted to protect the innocent] because she has always "had it" so she could not even comprehend my "mess" and [name redacted to protect the innocent] has always been able to look to me for strength and a shoulder that she would not even know how to respond. I'm so sick of wearing this face of "togetherness" 24/7 . Yes I want to be allowed to be weak sometime, emotional, confused, an uncertain and not be frowned upon. A lot of this has a lot to do with not having a Father around and having to take on roles I was not yet ready for so, I am saying please do not downplay your role in our Daughter's life. I will eventually get over the fact that that's where you chose to spend your life but don't rush me. I know my time will come when i will meet a man who will love me whole heartily, unconditionally with no strings attached and for that I must be patient.

-sister